Last weekend my boyfriend and I had a Christmas party at my place. We made sure that the house was clean and neat before everyone arrived. My house isn’t always perfectly clean (yes, I know that is shocking!) but I try to keep some semblance of order and not live like a slob.
Being a former interior designer, I like watching HGTV. They show a lot of programs about fixing up your house to sell. These are probably pretty popular given the housing market. I am constantly floored at the houses that are featured. What amazes me is the state of disrepair and general dirtiness that other people live in. For example, the most recent show I watched featured a family in a $600,000 house. It had been on the market for 6 months and not had any offers. The owners were just mystified that they hadn’t been able to sell it. When the cameras toured the house, it was obvious to me why it hadn’t. The front yard had foot-high grass, a tree that had fallen down and bushes that were cut down and left sitting there. Inside there was crayon on the walls from their children (brats) and the living room carpet was filthy. They tried to hide the carpet under an area rug – gross. And, the front window had a broken pain of glass. These people were not struggling for cash as evidenced by the incredibly HUGE flat panel TV in the living room. I think maybe they spent a little too much time sitting on their asses in front of it instead of watching their kids and cleaning up the house and mowing the yard. The Realtor suggested they lower the asking price and they were incredulous. What did they think? That people want to move into a place that needs lots of work? Would they? I’m guessing “no” since they didn’t want to fix up the place they currently live in. Sheesh! People are dumb.
So, I was getting dressed for work this morning and put on a pair of my “large’ pants and they were TIGHT! Argh! The scale has been slowly creeping up a few pounds over the last few weeks. I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life. When I was thinner, I often wondered how people could let themselves get so fat. I would gain a few pounds and immediately increase my exercise and cut back on eating and lose it. I couldn’t understand how anyone could gain 10, 20, or 50 pounds. Now I know. When I started gaining weight a couple of years ago, I tried my exercise and diet routine and didn’t lose anything. I then tried exercising harder and more often – still after 4 months I had nothing to show for it except an injured back. On top of it, I was exhausted.
So, I gave up trying to exercise. And part of my illness causes hypoglycemia when I am stressed – either physically or emotionally. When I get that I just want to eat carbs. It becomes a vicious cycle because then my blood sugar would shoot up and then drop down too low again and I’d have to eat carbs. Since my insulin levels were all over the place, anything I ate would be immediately converted to fat stores. Lovely. There would be some weeks if I was really stressed I would gain 3-5 pounds. And once it was there, it wasn’t coming off.
I’ve alluded to some of my health issues in previous posts but I haven’t gotten into the details too much. I have started posts trying to explain them, but always end up scrapping them. It gets complicated and I get frustrated. The Reader’s Digest version is that I have hypothyroidism and something wrong (maybe a deficiency in cortisol) with my adrenal glands – I’m getting tested in two weeks. Basically what this does is make me tired, fat, crabby and confused. I also get headaches and muscle aches for no apparent reason. The most recent issue is bursitis in my hip. My doctor wanted to know if I had injured it doing physical activity. Unless sitting on the couch constitutes physical activity, the chances of that are pretty slim.
I used to have more than enough energy. I would work two jobs because I was bored or to make extra money. For three years I went to graduate school part-time, worked full-time and bought and remodeled a condo. I would go out with my girlfriends on a Friday night and then get up Saturday to play touch football. I was probably starting to fall apart back then, but didn’t realize it. Sometimes I would come home from work on a Friday and fall asleep on the couch during the six o’clock news and not get up until 10 the next morning.