I’ve alluded to some of my health issues in previous posts but I haven’t gotten into the details too much. I have started posts trying to explain them, but always end up scrapping them. It gets complicated and I get frustrated. The Reader’s Digest version is that I have hypothyroidism and something wrong (maybe a deficiency in cortisol) with my adrenal glands – I’m getting tested in two weeks. Basically what this does is make me tired, fat, crabby and confused. I also get headaches and muscle aches for no apparent reason. The most recent issue is bursitis in my hip. My doctor wanted to know if I had injured it doing physical activity. Unless sitting on the couch constitutes physical activity, the chances of that are pretty slim.
I used to have more than enough energy. I would work two jobs because I was bored or to make extra money. For three years I went to graduate school part-time, worked full-time and bought and remodeled a condo. I would go out with my girlfriends on a Friday night and then get up Saturday to play touch football. I was probably starting to fall apart back then, but didn’t realize it. Sometimes I would come home from work on a Friday and fall asleep on the couch during the six o’clock news and not get up until 10 the next morning.
Once I moved to Charlotte and took on a new, very stressful job, I started to go downhill. Things got really bad about two years ago. I would go out on Saturday to do my errands and have to come home after two hours because I felt like I was going to collapse. I would spend the rest of the day laying down and unable to do anything else. I’d be achy and tired and physically exhausted. Sometimes I would have to leave work because I was so tired. Not that I was being very productive there. Between the headaches I would be staring at the computer screen and not able to concentrate long enough to get anything done.
It is really frustrating to go from being active to feeling like you are moving in slow motion. I have gotten some relief from my symptoms over the last year – I’m not quite as exhausted as I was, but I have to be very careful not to push myself or I have a relapse. Something as simple as not getting 8-10 hours of sleep will make leave me non-functioning the next day. I also have to take my time getting up and leaving the house in the morning. One morning my boss was in town and wanted to meet with me at 7:30 am. I live 5 minutes from the office, so it wasn’t going to be a huge issue, but the stress of having to get out of bed and cut my usual 2 hour prep time to 1 left me exhausted. Stress will also make me exhausted so I keep my levels to a minimum.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this post. Maybe I just wanted to vent a little about how frustrating it is. I find myself not sure of how far to push myself for fear of becoming exhausted. And I get really irritated when I start a project and then don’t have the mental energy to finish it. I started putting up my Christmas decorations last weekend and after about 3 hours had to stop because I was just moving stuff around and not making any progress.
I am also supposed to be eating a low-carb, no-sugar diet. I did that back in August and lost 5 pounds (mostly water). I was doing really well with that until my Dr. added a new medication and it increased my sugar cravings. I haven’t been able to get them under control since then. My no-sugar diet was also making depressed because I had to limit what I was eating and drinking when I went out and that was limiting my options when I would meet up with friends. So I started not meeting them and just staying home.
Maybe there is some hope; I started taking new thyroid medication last week and I’m going to be tested for my adrenal glands soon to see if I need to supplement those. The mental fog and depression makes it really difficult to make decisions about your treatment options. I was in a state a couple of weekends ago. My boyfriend, Dr. Skullstars took the time to do some research for me and help me figure out what direction I should go with my treatment. He really is a great boyfriend – I rely on him a lot and I hope he knows how much I appreciate him.