I just brushed away all the cobwebs from this blog since it’s been so long since I’ve written anything. The fiance gives me a hard time sometimes about not having written. Well, you know, it’s not like I have a new house that looks like a disaster and has nothing but builder’s white on the walls except for eight square patches in the guest bedroom where I tried out some potential colors, or that my associate and I at the Bank are doing the work of FOUR people, or that I have a wedding to plan and that has a to-do list that is still 2 pages long. Nope, none of that, just sitting around eating bon-bons and ignoring the blog. Yep, that’s me.
But the fiance was kind enough to go out and get me the new Wii Fit so I guess I’ll forgive him for bugging me about blogging. He came home with it last night and surprised me with it. I was really excited about it and set it up right away. When you start using the board for the first time, it creates a profile of your fitness to go with your Mii. It asks questions about your age and height, calculates your BMI (it weighs you so you can’t lie) and then has you do a balance test. After all of that, it comes up with your “Fitness Age”. That’s about when I went from being excited to nearly in tears. The Wii Fit board told me I was 56 years old in fitness age. I just turned 41 so that was pretty disheartening to see. My Mii on the screen was pretty upset too.
I realize I am out of shape and overweight but seeing the HUGE number 56 on the screen really hurt. I used to play tennis 2-3 times a week, ride my bike for miles, go for a hike and fit into my size 8 pants. Then as my hypothyroidism got worse I couldn’t do those activities without getting wiped out for a day or getting some injury. Now that I’m taking the right medication and supplements, I feel better, but part of me is still afraid to try to push myself to do exercise for fear that I will end up on the couch or in bed recovering.
I am very motivated though to lose the weight I’ve gained over the last two years. I would like to look good in my wedding pictures and not look back at them and cringe. In spite of the grim evaluation the Wii Fit gave me, I did a few of the activities that are on the disc. The yoga poses were pretty basic compared to what I usually do. I did some running in place holding the Wii remote – that was fun – the scenery is nice and you see all the other Mii’s in your game running along with your or standing on the side of the path so it looks like you’re are actually running – they should put that on treadmills. The most fun was the hula toss. You start out with a single hula hoop that you have to keep spinning around your hips. Then two of your Mii friends stand on either side and toss additional hoops for you to catch and start spinning. It’s so much fun you don’t realize you are working up a sweat.
I’m not sure that I’ll be any more diligent about my blogging going forward. I do have all those things on my plate right now and I’ve now added changing the We Not-So-Fit to We Fit!
So, I was getting dressed for work this morning and put on a pair of my “large’ pants and they were TIGHT! Argh! The scale has been slowly creeping up a few pounds over the last few weeks. I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life. When I was thinner, I often wondered how people could let themselves get so fat. I would gain a few pounds and immediately increase my exercise and cut back on eating and lose it. I couldn’t understand how anyone could gain 10, 20, or 50 pounds. Now I know. When I started gaining weight a couple of years ago, I tried my exercise and diet routine and didn’t lose anything. I then tried exercising harder and more often – still after 4 months I had nothing to show for it except an injured back. On top of it, I was exhausted.
So, I gave up trying to exercise. And part of my illness causes hypoglycemia when I am stressed – either physically or emotionally. When I get that I just want to eat carbs. It becomes a vicious cycle because then my blood sugar would shoot up and then drop down too low again and I’d have to eat carbs. Since my insulin levels were all over the place, anything I ate would be immediately converted to fat stores. Lovely. There would be some weeks if I was really stressed I would gain 3-5 pounds. And once it was there, it wasn’t coming off.
I’ve alluded to some of my health issues in previous posts but I haven’t gotten into the details too much. I have started posts trying to explain them, but always end up scrapping them. It gets complicated and I get frustrated. The Reader’s Digest version is that I have hypothyroidism and something wrong (maybe a deficiency in cortisol) with my adrenal glands – I’m getting tested in two weeks. Basically what this does is make me tired, fat, crabby and confused. I also get headaches and muscle aches for no apparent reason. The most recent issue is bursitis in my hip. My doctor wanted to know if I had injured it doing physical activity. Unless sitting on the couch constitutes physical activity, the chances of that are pretty slim.
I used to have more than enough energy. I would work two jobs because I was bored or to make extra money. For three years I went to graduate school part-time, worked full-time and bought and remodeled a condo. I would go out with my girlfriends on a Friday night and then get up Saturday to play touch football. I was probably starting to fall apart back then, but didn’t realize it. Sometimes I would come home from work on a Friday and fall asleep on the couch during the six o’clock news and not get up until 10 the next morning.
This post will probably be one of many that I write about why I no longer attend church. I grew up Lutheran and went to church EVERY Sunday – rain or shine. I went to Sunday school, I was in the church programs, and I sang in the church choir. The church I attended was founded by Slovak immigrants in the early 1900’s and my family had attended for generations. My father was the church president and my mother is still the treasurer.
Last weekend I went back to my hometown of Avon, just west of Cleveland. I lived there and in Cleveland until 5 years ago when I moved to Charlotte. I was there for my grandmother’s surprise 90th birthday party. She seemed to enjoy herself and was very surprised and happy that my sister (from Montana) and I had traveled home to celebrate with her.
On Friday night I met up with my girlfriends from high school at the local “hot spot” The Creekside. It’s your typical “old school” type bar with the checkered floor, round, red vinyl bar stools that spin around and a bunch of locals hanging out. It’s the kind of bar I spent a lot of time when I lived in Cleveland and I miss that atmosphere down here in Charlotte.
I am definitely living a different life than my friends. They are all divorced and/or remarried and have kids. They haven’t left Avon and have no plans to do so. They seem happy with their lives so I can’t fault them for their choices, but I’m glad I’m where I am now.
I guess it is about time I get on the blogging bandwagon. I’m always a little later than average when it comes to embracing technology. The only reason I have a DVD player is because last year a friend of mine gave me one of his old ones. It was pretty cool at first. I signed up for NetFlix and watched some movies I’d wanted to see. Then the novelty wore off. I’ve got two movies from NetFlix that I’ve had since March sitting in my tv cabinet collecting dust. My cell phone is woefully inadequate – I have no camera on it and I can’t get to the internet from it. Some how though, I’ve managed to survive largely unscathed inspite of this.
I think I’ve always been a little later than average in doing just about anything though. I didn’t move out of my parents’ house until a year after I graduated from college. I didn’t buy an ironing board until a couple of years ago (I’m 40 by the way). And I have never gotten married. I have never really felt mature enough to be married until lately. (I’m sure my boyfriend is having an anxiety attack reading this).
So tell me, what kinds of things have you been later than average to do? Ride a bike? Buy a house? Spill the beans…